Thursday, December 16, 2010
I remember getting this for Christmas one year. I was a wee lass, hah! well honestly I was a lass. The wee part, not so much. People always said "they are sooo healthy!" to my sisters and I. Once I was grown I deciphered the code and discovered they were really saying "they are so plump". I still use internal code, "plump" not fat. Plump...what a weird word. One of those words the more you say or think it the stranger it becomes. Plump, Bump, Clump, Rump,.....shaking head to clear fog.
Okay, what was I talking about? (crickets chirping in background) Oh yeah! The Easy Bake Oven!! The best gift in the world. Those little baking pans and the small packets of brownie or cake mixes. The magic light bulb. Time slowing down while your very own pan of brownies baked. I mean i t r e a l l y s l o w e d d o w n. Then the excruciating time while the gourmet treat c o o l e d. Augghhh!!!! Okay, it is time to taste the chocolate masterpiece. Wow! The heavenly, rapturous, scintillating taste of....brown stuff. Okay it was a bit sweet and it smelled like brownies. But it seemed like it was going to be the stuff of legend. THE BEST BROWNIES in the World! Not so much. Of course this did not keep me from eating the whole batch, I did not share a crumb with my sisters. The whole batch was approximately one small brownie. My Grandmother probably gave them a really good treat, like a pop tart, since I didn't share.
The down side of the mighty Easy Bake Oven? When you ran out of the starter packages of brownie and cakes mixes you were DONE. I don't think I ever got restocked on my little packaged mixes. I think I tried to bake a canned biscuit in the Easy Bake and started a fire. The magic light bulb caught the biscuit dough as it rose in the oven. One minute I'm playing, anticipating a fresh baked canned biscuit the next minute I'm standing at the back door watching my Easy Bake Oven melt and smoke and flames shoot out of it as it bounces across the back yard. Mother snatched that thing up and slung it out the door so damned fast she looked like a blur. Crushed I could only stand and stare and wonder what happened? The carpet in the living room had the most unusual rectangular depression of scorched shag where my EBO had sat. A daily reminder to me of my lost friend. Oh the meals I coulda' cooked on that bitch.
I hope I get this for Christmas one year. Oh the meals I will cook on this bitch, the Mother of all Ovens. I may need to add a chimney to the kitchen for Santa to squeeze down. Maybe I will get the soap stone countertops and farmhouse style sink too. The down side of recieving the Mother of all Ovens? The $100K major kitchen remodel this will require. Damn, just damn. Oh the meals I coulda' cooked on that bitch....